If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
