Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize