I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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