I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Randomize
