Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
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The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
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hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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