Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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