? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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