note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
