im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
