is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
