quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
