it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
