My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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