No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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