Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
