At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
