Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Can Purell be used as lube?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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