She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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