just survived the first fart of the relationship.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
