...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
