Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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