spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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