It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
