ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
