My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
