i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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