3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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