she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
