It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
