i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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