i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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