Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
