my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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