Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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