I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
