wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.