I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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