Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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