from now on my penis is your penis
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
