Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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