At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
