Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
