Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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