I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
