I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
