You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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