Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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