What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
