I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
