Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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