dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
