:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
you are never too drunk for berry picking
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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