Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
