Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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