my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
