I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower