***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.