Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble

  (1-310): View more from California

  Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo

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  (310): I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble (1-310): Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo http://tfl.nu/rwvs
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading

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  (416): So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading http://tfl.nu/2fp9
  Replies (21) Good night (3136) Bad night (857) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i may or may not be watching the land before time

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  (404): i may or may not be watching the land before time http://tfl.nu/fmo5
  Replies (40) Good night (7172) Bad night (793) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.

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  (816): I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear. http://tfl.nu/e1lf
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..

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  (407): I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks.. http://tfl.nu/av5i
  Replies (13) Good night (856) Bad night (4020) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch

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  (804): She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch http://tfl.nu/datu
  Replies (14) Good night (4129) Bad night (1008) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended

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  (763): After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended http://tfl.nu/x97c
  Replies (10) Good night (1212) Bad night (3659) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance

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  (815): I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance http://tfl.nu/h8yt
  Replies (28) Good night (5930) Bad night (1575) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms

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  (847): I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms http://tfl.nu/d1qk
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  (530): View more from California

  Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication

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  (530): Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication http://tfl.nu/e0p4
  Replies (11) Good night (2244) Bad night (490) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.

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  (903): You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss. http://tfl.nu/y1tc
  Replies (5) Good night (470) Bad night (1180)
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  (595): View more from

  In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.

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  (595): In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today. http://tfl.nu/kbdd
  Replies (8) Good night (924) Bad night (235) Order T-Shirt
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  (323): View more from California

  Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend

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  (323): Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend http://tfl.nu/fcuo
  Replies (3) Good night (601) Bad night (273) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.

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  (515): Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away. http://tfl.nu/jux9
  Replies (2) Good night (967) Bad night (259) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time

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  (803): If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time http://tfl.nu/10i6
  Replies (3) Good night (757) Bad night (172) Order T-Shirt

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