What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I pooped in a mop bucket.
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club