I love black thongs
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
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