I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
