Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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