you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
