I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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