Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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