maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
