there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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